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The Great 2018 Southern Majors Yankee Invasion

October 2017

So Ed and I are drinking beer at NJMP and he mentions he wants to drive COTA (Circuit of the Americas) and NOLA (New Orleans Louisiana) race tracks. I noted I'd certainly like to check off those boxes myself someday. And then he points out that the 2018 SCCA races at COTA and NOLA were only a month apart down there. And then the VIR SCCA Super Tour is only a month after that.

He'd clearly been thinkin' about this. I try to ignore him, but he hands me another beer.

December 2017

The official race schedules come out and Ed has some Small House wine shipped to me. I still try to ignore him (it's good wine, though). But then he points out that, well, you know that he has to repair that transmission that I fragged at NJMP and it was going to be around a grand just in parts - and no tellin' what labor's gonna be, hoo-boy that could get into some serious coin...but then "well, maybe we could work out a deal...?"

I couldn't refuse.

After some jawing back and forth (over beers) "Max Attack Motorsports" decided to drag a couple of STU cars (one an ITRCMAASTUC - ITR Car Masquerading As An STU Car) down to the COTA, NOLA, and VIR Majors in 2018. Greg would be charge of "logistics" (and providing and paying for the truck and fuel) while Ed worked on the cars (I'm not sure who got the better deal on this one).

The week between Christmas and New Year's, Greg brought the Excursion down to Ed in NJ to drop off for review and towing evaluation. The lightly-modded Excursion - a dolled-up 3/4-ton pickup - was the primary form of cross-country towage of a 38-foot, 2-car enclosed, 13k-ish GVW trailer. That, in itself, was worth watching for news.

And one of the first comments out of Ed was, "wait...the Excursion is only two wheel drive??" with a surprised look on his face.

Greg responded, "yeah, with an open diferential, too."

Ed was less-than-impressed.

Meanwhile, Ed worked on the cars and loaded the trailer.

Mid-Jan 2018

By this time we're posting on various Internet locations that Team Maximum Attack is planning a Great Southern Majors Yankee Invasion. We're figuring we'd grab the rig in NJ and trek down to COTA in a couple days, maybe non-stop if we're up to it. Figure 24-25 hours plus stops? "Do-able" with two guys but it sure would be nice if we could get a third body...

Soon afterward, the following "For Immediate Release" was...well, released:

Team Maximum Attack is pleased to announce the addition of team member Richard Patullo for at least the first leg of this potentially-epic three-leg journey. Dick, as he's commonly known, for whatever reason decided that traveling with Team America to Austin, staying with us through the weekend, and then proceeding with us to visit Amy's family in Louisiana through Super Bowl Sunday was a good idea.

Based on the success/failure/horror of that first leg, Mr. Patullo says he'd "think about" the New Orleans and VIR continuations.

Our office contacted Mr. Dick's for comment, but has not received a response at press time. However, we have it on good faith that he's already bought a plane ticket, so there's that.

Please join us in welcoming Dick to what could turn out to be one interesting trip.

Late January

So the rig went through its initial sea trials over a weekend, with the Excursion hooked up and trailer fully loaded...test pilot's feedback was "dual rear wheels and more leaf springs and it will be a towing beast"...Ok, but what about "without"...?

After some discussion I decided to crack open the wallet and buy the "heavy duty" version of the Roadmaster Active Suspension and send it to Ed.. Fortunately, a fellow racer offered to purchase the non-HD version which was only a few months old...I also bought a DP Tuner programmable ECU switcher...for moar powah.

Ed then hit the scales:

  • Steer Axle: 3,340 lb
  • Drive axle: 6,340 lb
  • Gross Weight: 21,220 lb

Base weight on the Excursion is 3782/3415 F/R. He figured there's about 2500# tongue weight on the bumper hitch. on a Class IV hitch.

He's adjusting bars and load...

Less than a week to go...

Our Logistics Team (Greg) came up with the following plan.

  • First race weekend at COTA in Austin starts February 2nd, so plan to arrive and setup February 1. The ~1700-mile trip is expected to take two days, with a possible stop somewhere along the way, dependent on team attitude and mental condition. We have three drivers now, so maybe a marathon?
  • So depart January 30th, drive to Austin TX.
  • Feb 2-4, SCCA Majors at COTA. Moar beer and wine. Staying at the track in the trailer.
  • Feb 4, Sunday race is done, we pack up and hit the road eastbound for Louisiana. We'll be staying at my sister's place in Carencro LA where we'll witness your 2018 New England Patriots Super Bowl Champs do their thing (hopefully, with gumbo, crawfish, and whatever else may be crawling around outside.)
  • Feb 6 early morning Tuesday, Max Attack drives to Opelousas LA to leave the rig at Greg's mom's place and enjoy beer, wine, and good food. Our trio will get a ride to MSY airport early Tuesday AM to fly home to NJ, CT, and MA.
  • March 1, we fly back to New Orleans Int'l, get a ride to Opelousas to snag the rig, drive to NOLA on the 2nd. Set up paddock, beer and wine.
  • March 3-4, SCCA Majors at NOLA. See COTA beer/wine event notes.
  • March 4, Sunday race is done, Max Attack departs eastbound for Virginia. Should be a 13-14 hours to Ed's parents' place in Green Bay VA where beer, wine, and good food follow. Leave trailer there and drive home in the Excursion the next morning. Greg drops off Ed in NJ and he and Dick continue home to CT (and MA).
  • April 12, Ed departs southward in his work dually, and Greg and Dick get down to VIR whatever way they can. Set up the paddock and...well, you should know the drill by now.
  • April 13-15, SCCA Majors at VIR. More beer, wine, etc...
  • After the race, Ed departs home with the full rig, Greg (and company) gets home however, schedules immediate sessions with therapist and financial adviser.

Profit.

Ah, the optimism...that was the plan, anyway.

And Here's The Reality

Mid-day Jan 30, Dick met Greg in CT. Greg and Dick departed CT in Greg's GTi for New Jersey. Arrived Ed's place, transfered personal crap, loaded beer in Excursion (so Greg doesn't chicken out). Hit the road southwestbound to get out of the Eastern Corridor working our way to I-81 south and direct to Austin from there.

Soon we're halfway to Harrisburg. Not dead yet.

Ed, driving, was getting a workout, though. The back end of the truck got moved around a lot by trucks pushing on that big sail back there. Typical Excursion action, keeps your attention. Otherwise, it was pulling "OK" but the constant Excursion-wagging in crosswinds and when vehicles pass (even your basic sedans were causing it) was tiring. A full-on semi with trailer would move the whole rig half a lane over...and sometimes the other way. It was very difficult to get any relaxation.

Imagine as the truck is passing you on the left. As the bow wave hits the tail of the trailer, not much happens. As that wave moves to the front of the trailer the nose of the Excursion gets pivoted to the left, into the passing truck. That's bad, m'kay, so you correct right about 20 degrees of steering. Then as the truck progresses abeam then the Excursion nose starts pivoting right so you have to hold in about 20 degrees of left steering (or you just let the rig drift right partially onto the shoulder).

Every Time. And when you're in an unsteady wind, it's a constantly battle left and right. It was so bad that the copilot would be ready on teh brake controller at any moment to use the trailer brakes to steady the rig.

Oddly, we got the same affects with large sedans like Camrys and such, but less so with trucks without the trailer side skirts. The slower they pass, the larger the effects. Big trucks with deep truck skirts and trailer side skirts are the worst.

We tried pushing on the side of the Excursion at a fuel stop, and the back end of that truck is not very resistant... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSeM1T8F5Ls

It's An Excursion Thing. GCVW of the rig, before adding people, bags, and fuel, was ~22,000 pounds. Figure we've easily added 1,500 in people, bags, and fuel (44 gallons). Back-of-the-napkin calcs says we're pulling ~15,000 pounds behind the hitch.

And frankly, it's mostly pulling it damned nice, considering. Pulls great, brakes great, handles great when it's on the road by itself. It drives so nice that each time I pull into a lot for fuel I have to verbally remind myself, "Amy, you're pulling a 38 foot trailer back there, be smart."

If we didn't have this sway issue it would be a breeze (no pun intended).

31 January

Trip had been long, truck was a handfull. 10.2 mpg at Prescott AR. Fairly typical fuel economy for the trip, certainly not hateful.

But we had to crash overnight in Marshall TX and headed to COTA the next day. That sway...no one could get any sleep. We just had to stop and relax.

01 February

Team made the final push to COTA, after a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast. But we took minor highways and back roads just to avoid passing semis. The rest of this trip is going to be a chore...

Team setup camp and scoped out the place for the start of tomorrow Hoosier Super Tour. Interesting facility, but kinda surprised they run F1 here...I guess it works for 20 well-equipped teams but not so much for 350 lightly-equipped ones...

02 February

First day of practice/qualifying. Ed and Greg go out in succession but soon Ed falls back; Greg continues the session.

After some basic macro-checks, Ed determines that his engine is "toast", as in it almost tossed a rod. Turning over the engine with a screwdriver in a spark plug hole indicates important things are not connected together. And this, on the first session of the day. Damn.

We sent some hails out to see if we could find a good used engine in the area, but Ed figures it's not worth the money and effort. So, the team plans to continue the weekend with Greg in the #33 car, continue on for Greg to race NOLA as well, and Ed will work to build an engine for VIR. The black car will still do all three events, the team still has the fun, food, family, beer, and Ed gets to do VIR.

Ed's brother Richard arrives from Idaho that afternoon to help the team...and a new meme is soon to be born...and then there's the truck door mirror drama...

03 February

Greg throws in a last-lap, last-corner pass to win STU. SCCA press release: Conditions Saturday Challenge COTA Hoosier Super Tour Racers

Race 1 in-car: https://youtu.be/YcNcMj2cMF0

As the guys are sitting around in the trailer, drinking and yackin', Richard read that day's press release in a heretofore-unknown radio voice: Jackie Stewart. And a new meme arrives without much fanfare (you can here us in the background trying to suppress laughter):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AZU4gwibyI

This won't be the last - or best - thing we hear from Jackie...

04 February

2nd place today. The loss was caused by more engine cut-outs, usually happening when the driver hits the rev-limiter (which he likes to do). Probably caused yesterday's mis-shifts too. Car died six times in the race and almost cost 2nd place. Greg's perspective:

Problem is that if I let the car ride on the rev limiter for more than quick hit, the engine goes into some kind of limp mode, tossing the [drive by wire] throttle body into idle. A key cycle resets it, and off I go. But each time it happened it cost me either a position, or kept me from passing or balked a pass attempt. You'll hear more in-car bitching when I upload today's video (which should be pretty good). BTW, stay off the orange curbing (you'll see what I mean).

Another <bleeping> Miata won the race. Good guy though (Luis Rivera), rotary powered.

Race #2 video: https://youtu.be/plqeMHs8RSI

The boys got on the road later that day and headed eastbound for Opelousas LA (and Greg got his Whataburger for lunch as they passed through Houston) to leave the whole rig at Greg's mom's farm and then head to his sister's (Arlette) place for the evening, They arrived with enough time for dinner and the Super Bowl.

And what a feast Arlette had for them! All kinds of Cajun food that made Mr. Dick Patullo question his New England heritage...we adopted him as an honorary Cajun...

05 February

Team Maximum Attack hitched a ride (from family) to the New Orleans airport, and flew home.

However, the night before, the team is discussing this truck sway problem; it just won't do to have this all the way home (just the drive from Austin to Opelousas was tiring). Ed was convinced it was the stock 16" wheels and tires on the Excursion, so Greg grabbed a computer and searched Craigslist for options...and -- lo and behold! -- someone was selling a set of 50-mile 20" take-off alloy wheels with Michelin LTX Load E tires from a 2017 Ford F-250. And at a killer price. Even better, they were 30 minutes from Arlette's house. Yup, that's the ticket. Greg closed a verbal deal with the guy and left the cash with his bro-in-law to make it happen before we returned for the NOLA weekend.

Regardless, we couldn't say enough on how surprisingly well this truck pulled that rig, the swaying issue notwithstanding. And at that point we hadn't died (despite predictions to the contrary). There were a few times in the Excursion, as we were getting passed by a large truck, that the conversation inside went dead silent...but we hadn't died.

Yet.

01-02 March

Team members Greg, Ed, and Dick flew into New Orleans airport, arrving MSY around 8PM. Snagged a cheap rental car and headed a couple hours west to Carencro where Greg's sister lives. Ate snacks, drank beer and bullshat until 1AM. Parish Amber and one good IPA, can't remember its name...Evia?

Friday AM up early and got the wheels and tires on the truck. Fortunately, a buddy brought to our attention the need for adapters/spacers (it's a different offset and pattern) so Greg had those fabbed by wheeladapter.com and delivered to Arlette (good spacers though they didn't get them done until Wednesday so we had to pay $125 for overnight shipping...grrrr...) No grinding required, they bolted right on.

The truck drove significantly better with the load on the way to NOLA that afternoon; Ed sez "a million times better" with the 275/65-20 versus 265/75-16. Says it's totally transformed. We were later cruising at 75mph and the rig was stable. Looks better too.

Arrived NOLA early afternoon Friday and got set up. No testing, we'll hit the track first thing in the AM and figure out which way this place goes.

Late afternoon we left the track to head for an incredible Italian restaurant in Mandeville, Nuvolari's. Highly recommended. It's owned by Ed's uncle and we were his guests. Damned good food and drink (and fortunately Ed's brother Richard was the designated driver). The grocery run afterward at Walmart was...entertaining.

03 March

Saturday AM we hit the track for the 15 minute closed-wheel warmup (no practice sessions). Greg had watched Eric Prill's video so he know which direction it generally went, it's not a complex track. But there are some subtleties, and easy to get lost in the esses if you don't know where you are. The  biggest problem was that the track is bumpy as hell and that hard-sprung Civic Si did not like that at all. That track is so bumpy in places a good setup for Sebring would probably work there. The other thing is it's also a very fast track...we could grab 6th on the front straight (5.0:1 final drive).

We were starting to see "real" STU cars showing up (recall we're actually ITR-spec). A Civic Si (ex-HPD car?), a couple of rotary Miatas, Angelica in her Subaru. We got a P4 Saturday in the ITR car, which is a fair placement, about what we deserved. But even better Greg was dropping lap times every session, getting better on that track. But the surface was such that Greg could not really be too brave, the car was just skittering in the apexes. In fact in one session he dared hit a curb and the car literally po-go'd like the old NX2000, and a few times the left rear suspension was bottoming out on a rough right-hander. Not the right knife for that track. But we were there.

No one had anything for Steyn in that STL MX-5; he was overall pole even over the T2 Corvettes. Rocket on rails, he had the field covered. He just needs to get that dependability engineered in and he'll be invincible.

Greg uploaded Saturday's in-car on the Tubes, you can check for it on his channel. Nothing spectacular except there was a T2 Nissan Z that decided to interject himself in the STL and STU races (what is it with you people down there??) In the end I don't think we really didn't have anything for the two rotard Miatas, but it would have been nice to have had a shot at them. Not to be, though.

Weather was absolutely gorgeous all weekend. Sunny skies, 70s, we were in shorts. Greg had his photo taken earlier in the day with "The Voodoo Queen"; a couple people were all like, "dude, don't screw with religions, you never know who's right..." (we know who chose correctly: it was the Morons, yes, the Mormons). Greg declares, "I'm not superstitious"; maybe he should have been (foreshadowingly...)

One funny item of note Saturday was watching the podium ceremonies for the T4 class, same group as ours. We always make a point of going to the cermonies to support everyone that's getting a trophy. Most show a lot of enthusiasm for a job well done.

But for the Touring 4 trophies, there was this one guy, finished third, that had a look on his face and body language like someone had shot his dog. He dragged his feet to the podium with a glum look on his face, and while the other two on the podium were excited with smiles,  and raising their trophies, P3 Boy was sullen with slumped shoulders. We all kinda talked into our hands, whsipering, "what's with this dude?" Whatever, we had fun.

Now it was time to enjoy dinner and drinking with friends. Greg's Louisiana family (mom, sisters) decided to come to the track for the weekend. Interesting group of people, we're sure Dick can give you his perspective. Saturday night we did the track party, wings, snacks, etc and some beer. They ran out of the "regular" craft beer and we ended up drinking Miller Light. But, it was free, so...?

04 March

Sunday, race day. Family showed up again and we were looking to have a good race so we can head home (Ed decided we would take the rig straight home to NJ so he could build an engine for his car for the VIR Super Tour in April). One more race and we're done...

We had convinced the Race Director to split-start Touring 2 out to the front (a couple of them were messing with the STU pack). Greg guessed the word didn't get around because Grid did not hold the 2nd-pack leader to insert its pace car (maybe the driver didn't get the word?) so off we went on the warm up lap with a big gap to the T2 cars and only a single pace car. We knew we had agreed to a split start, not a split grid, and that requires two pace cars and different green flags, so Dick (on the radio) and Greg got into a conversation during the warm up on what to do. Right as Greg declared we were going on the first green and we'll work out the penalties later, we got a Black Flag All. Expecting to proceed to the pit lane, the pace car and all the cars in front stayed on the track and went down the front straight, while a handful of cars in back went into the pits. What an entertaining cluster. In the end they figured it out, re-ordered us on the front straight and we got the split start as agreed.

Greg's notes:

The race started typically, with cars shuffling for position. I was still around 4th in class but my speed put me right in STL battle - a different class - between my friends Amy and Mike. I wanted to push forward to get through them, but I knew I had little chance to catch the next STU car up so I was picking may way carefully so as to avoid affecting their race.

But in the midst of all this, some Touring 4 Miata was running within us, and he had no such considerations about mixing it up inside others' races. He was well ahead of his competition but he was dicing it up with me and with the STL cars, dive-bombing us but then getting eaten up on the straights. It was really kinda of annoying, to the point of my radio'ing in to Ed asking, "what in the hell is this guy's problem?" Whatever, I just had to deal with him.

Around lap 4, with me in front of the T4 guy, I was heading for a corner and I glanced back to see he was several car lengths behind me; I looked back forward and turned into the corner and all of a sudden I see this FLASH! of color out of my right mirror and then suddenly a BAM! of a collision and I'm taking a long slide sideways off toward the left edge of the track. I've pretty much collected the car from spinning but then I slide off the track...and into a gravel trap, which catches the car and rolls it on its lid. I'm pretty sure I only did a half-roll and the car landed on its roof . The car came to a stop upside down, and after hitting the ignition and kill switches I braced myself on the roof, released the harness, and scrambled out of the car to safety. The car's upside down, but no fire.

The race director called a full-course caution and while they rolled the car over and dragged it back on a flat bed, I went to Medical to get checked out (all OK). But I was livid, to the point where I was telling everyone that would listen that I wanted to file a protest before the post-race time limit was reached.

Dick not-so-gently reminded me that the race was still going on (without me), so I had plenty of time.

In-car video: https://youtu.be/bidIaertnMs

Amy's video from behind: https://youtu.be/qglKSRrhsaw

Well Greg tossed a protest at the driver, only to find it was...that mopey sullen T4 guy from Saturday! Great (not). We found out later that he'd developed something of a reputation for aggressive driving (a nice way of saying "he's hit everything but the pace car") in his headstrong rush down Mazda's "Road to Indy". But in this case, however, he tangled with a person who:
  1. Is VERY familiar with the GCR, including the section on filing a protest
  2. Knows half the stewards in the club
  3. Isn't hesitant to throw paper in an effort to clean up Club Racing

We not only had in-car video but video and statements of other cars around me (Thanks, Amy!) Decision: four-race probation, loss of three positions, costing him his win.

But the fun didn't end there. Our day got extended by dealing with this protest, so as we waited for word from the stewards we got everything loaded up. Greg notes:

I got a call that they wanted to talk to us so me and Dick walked over to the stewards room. They told us their decision, and asked if we had any questions; we had none. We shook their hands and began to walk out, and then we noticed Sullen Boy and his dad walking in, with his trophy in-hand that they had to surrender. Dick and I tried to avoid them but they were having none of it; as we walked by they were screaming "YOU SUCK!" and something about "GO TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!" or something similar. We kept walking.

Right then, one of the stewards turned to them and said, "Hey, watch it! That's very unsportsmanlike!" and they both turned to that steward and yelled, "OH YEAH, SPORT THIS!" while flipping them the bird and tearing up his probation letter.

Well. That certainly was entertaining.

There was discussion later about if I, or one of the stewards, wanted to pursue further penalties, but I figured it wasn't worth the effort, that kind of attitude tends to take care of itself over time...I seem to recall that he did the same Sullen Boy routine at the Runoffs when he lost, and it probably still doing it today.

Assholes be assholes. Public shame won't change that.

Postscript

Given Ed's blown engine, and now Greg with a damaged chassis, we decided to bail out on doing the VIR Super Tour. It was just going to be too much effort for Ed to get that all done in roughly four weeks with nothing to gain.

We did go to the VIR race to spectate, and prior events made for some great beer drinking conversation. And later that year Ed's daughter got married in Idaho and since the Runoffs were in Sonoma California it just wasn't going to work out anyway. Ed and Greg stuck around the northeast and drove some fun races, including bringing out the historics 914 for a few times. Ed likes that car...

But the best thing to come out of all that carnage was...Jackie Stewart.

Jackie made another video after NOLA on the crash...and it's hilarious. This video made its way all over the globe, even getting a bunch of views in the Middle East.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcFhn71Ek1s

Best part...it really pissed off Masalla and his dad. We heard rumors he was threatening people for talking about the video on the Internet (really?) and considered legal action (for what, I have no idea. Pointing out the obvious...?)

Sometimes, in the end, it's just all worth it.

- GA

Edit: Jackie was such a sensation that he's made many further appearances, such as when Greg caught "The Turtle" on fire at the 2019 Runoffs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfxzWFtvEZk




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