Operation COVID Florida 2020

You remember 2020. World shuts down in March, and a very large chunk of society goes into hidey holes. I'm an office worker (and all that that implies) in Info Tech. Once my company told us to stay home and start working remote, it was an easy transition for me. Couple screens, some cables, a laptop, done.

But boooooring. Wake up, grab coffee, sit in front of a screen all day. Pretty much same as before but no commute and no interruptions about "last night's game" (I actually kinda miss those now, even though I didn't watch last night's game).

My buddy Ed is a hands-on guy. Blue collar, hard worker, madz fabrication skillz. So even though he was still working at the shop, they pretty much kept to themselves.

Both of us (as well as most of the world) were getting cabin fever come the summer of 2020. Sure, we ventured out on occasion for take-out -- gotta keep those fav restauarants and breweries in biz! -- but we all just wanted a reason to GTF out of the house.

It was right about then, a Sunday in mid-August, that I was trolling Craigslist to see what was hanging about. I was looking for Honda Gyro parts and bits (we use Gyros as pit bikes at the race track) and I came across a listing in Florida where a guy was selling three Gyros as part of a group of various scooters.

Not thinking seriously about it I sent the guy an email, asking if he'd part out the Gyros from his listing and sell separately; "nope" he replied, it was the whole lot or nothing:

• A red 1986 Gyro, excellent shape and just a few hundred miles
• A black 1985 Gyro, disassembled in bits and pieces but mostly there
• A red 1984 Gyro, in really nice running condition
• Two Honda Trail 70s, in various condition
• A Honda Urban Express
• A Honda Helix (a what?)
• Two The Automoto three-wheelers (um, double WUT?)

He wanted something like 9 grand for the lot, which seemed kinda OK on average - the three Gyros were probably worth a third of that total on their own and a couple others could bring some money - but that was a large chunk of money and storage space, plus it was in Florida, a COVID world away. And we're still in COVID lockdowns.

I wasn't really thinking seriously about it but I texted the link to Ed as a lark, commenting "looking for  and excuse for a Florida vacation...? LOL".

Ed texts back, "where is it?"

He's not serious about this, is he? "Lake City, Florida".

"I have a close buddy that lives there, he can go look at them."

"Wait...you can't be serious."

"What, you have other plans?"

I did have to admit that I really didn't have much going on except work, which I could actually handle while on the road...Ed says, "Get the address. I'll have my buddy drive over and take a look, see if it's legit." Huh.

So thinking there's no way this could happen, I continued my conversation with the guy, who was  (as you can imagine) more than suspicious about a guy in Connecticut calling about scooters in Florida, wanting to send a guy supposedly just-so-happening to be from his hometown to look at his scooters so that this Connecticut guy could come down with a buddy from New Jersey to buy it all. In the middle of COVID lockdown.

Right.

But I did manage to get his address and Ed's buddy Coby went down on that Tuesday to check it all out. He called us that night, said the guy was legit and the collection was legit, and that the scooters he had for sale were all in remarkably nice condition and mostly running (disassembled parts scooter noted.) Ed calls me back right away.

"Let's go."

"Um, what?"

"Let's go get 'em. You chip in half, I'll chip in half, we drive down there in your Excursion and black enclosed trailer, grab 'em all, bring 'em home. Sell what we don't want, cover the rest, maybe even make some cash. What, you got something else to do this weekend?"

I did have to admit that I really didn't have much going on this weekend... I'm like "Wait, you're talking like, this weekend? Like, leaving tomorrow? I have not even mentioned this to my wife yet!"

"Well, start mentioning, 'cause we're going. Hit your bank on the way out of town."

OK, so I guess we're doing this. That Wednesday after work I hit my bank, grabbed the black trailer from the lot I keep it at, give it a quick cursory check over and aired up the tires (it really needs some new shoes, and we're taking it to Florida?) and three days after I jokingly mentioned to Ed about some scooters for sale in Florida, I'm on the road southbound to Ed's house in central Jersey.

I get there late and park the trailer in Ed's driveway and after way too many beers (a recurring theme on this trip) I hit his sofa for some shut-eye...only to be rudely woken up at some ungodly early hour ("let's hit the road!") so we could, well, hit the road. Early. See: recurring theme.

It was about this moment that I'm silently pledging to myself that I will never ever mention these kinds of deals to Ed again. But at that same moment I'm also too deep into this one to give up so I buried that pledge for future reference...

The drive southbound wasn't too bad. The roads were mostly clear of traffic except for truckers, so it was easily the best cruise I've ever done down I-95 in my life. In fact, the traffic was so light that we even stayed on I-95 and paid the tolls through DE, MD, DC, VA just to make good time, and I don't think we ever hit any traffic. I'm kinda liking some parts of this COVID thing...

But then there was that storm. Mid-afternoon we're still on I-95 in SC and I could see some mean angry clouds on the southeast horizon, moving west. I grabbed the weather radar app and calculated it would be crossing our path right as we got there. My comment was "yeah, we're about to get hammered."

And boy did we ever. Once we got into it the rain started happening, forward visibility went to damn near zero, and the winds were tossing that big 28' sail behind us...and then all the traffic up front in that mess decided to start coming to a dead stop, right in the middle of the road! Knowing full well there was a lot of traffic rolling up behind us, most importantly many large trucks, I was really worried; I'd seen enough news reports of this kind of traffic backups in fog and snow to know we could be in trouble. All I could do at that point was hit the hazards, pull over onto the shoulder as best I could, and hope and pray while I cussed at all the idiot drivers around me (warning, adult language). Wind was horrendous, trees were bending over, and I was wondering how long it was going to take for it to blow through. As with all summer storms, it soon did.

As we were coming back through the area on the return trip, we saw broken and uprooted trees all over the place. I found some reports later of it being an unusually intense storm that caused a lot of damage in the area. We got lucky.

At the end of that one looong day we arrived at Coby's house in Lake City FL, followed by much consumption of adult beverages. Coby and his wife, Lori, have a really large 5th wheel travel trailer - I'd call it a full-size motorhome without the motor - and while no one in the family seemed to be especially concerned about COVID, it was convenient accomodations for Ed and I to stay and not worry anyone (or ourselves). Hell, that thing is nicer than my first apartment...we each had our own mini-suites to live in.

We had agreed to meet with the scooters owner, Doug, the next morning. Ed, Coby, me, and a few friends drove across town and met the guy, a really nice fellow. It's clear he was part collector, part Carlisle-type reseller and he had a ton of cool things on top of the scooters he was selling. 

We gravitated to the Gyros first, since that's what turned us onto him, and it was all as described. The red 86 had incredibly low miles on it and was in excellent condition; the red 84 was really nice with low miles as well. We looked at the disassembled parts of the black 85 and then started inspecting all the others. The Urban Express was darned near in new condition, while the Trail 70s showed some use but were also in good nick.It's clear Doug didn't buy and sell crap, he had good stuff.

Then we went to look at the Automotos. Every seen one of those? Me neither. Part oversized Gyro, part urban step through scooter, they are really weird...but enticing. The correct name is "The Automoto" and it's a three-wheeled tilting scooter powered by a 150cc 4-stroke Chinese clone engine, run through a CVT box. Long gone now (here's a link to its old web page in the Internet Archive), it was one guy's Malcom Bricklin-like attempt to bring in a covered scooter for, presumably, urban use. It was intriguing, in its own way...but it failed financially.

The final candidate was the Honda Helix. I'd never heard of it but I think Doug was most proud of that one. Step through scooter, Honda 250cc power through a CVT. Lots of bags/stroage space. It is a lot bigger than it may seem in photos, darn near as big as a regular motorcycle (about 8 feet total length). It started and ran fine and was actually kind of fun to test-drive (though the area was wet so we didn't get a chance to go far). I really liked it. He also had a "trike kit" that came with it, a bolt-on affair that turns the bike into a three (4?) wheeler.

So after reviewing the scooters, as well as the parts that came with it, both Ed and I were satisfied with the deal. We traded cash and paperwork while the team crammed the whole menagerie into the enclosed trailer. And it was a tight fit, too...Doug had a further large collection of parts he wanted to sell us as well, some related to the scooters we bought, some not, some that were accessories...but at that point, short of sleep (and cash), we decided he wanted just a bit too much for that stuff and passed on the offer (it was the right move).

Once the trade was completed, just after lunch, we trailered back to Coby's place and spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out, touring their property, and enjoying each other's company. More family members and friends arrived for a really nice dinner - I could tell everyone relished the idea of getting together again - and later that evening we found ourselves outside on the porch and garden talking and ensuring the emptiness of a couple of bottles of Bourbon...

It was late when we finally retired to the travel trailer, only for me to be rudely woken up only a few hours later at some ungodly early hour ("let's hit the road!") so we could, well, hit the road. Remember recurring themes...?

And it was early. On top of going to bed way too late. I just remember telling Ed as I dropped the Excursion in Drive that I needed a second set of eyes to ensure I didn't run into anything ("do not let me hit the gate poles")...and soon we were eastbound to Jacksonville then northbound on I-95.

I don't remember anything spectacular about the drive home other than  trying to get lunch at South of the Border. They were about the only place open in the area and they had just a couple guys cooking burgers while several masked travelers were looking to get something to eat. I was tired, hungover, hungry, and generally annoyed at life and I just wanted to get home. But then I realized that these two guys were humpin' it the best they could, in very trying circumstances, and at least they were there, so I just bided my time. We eventually got our burgers.

Ed was doing the deals on the road. The Trail 70s were sold by the time we hit Georgia (Ed: "my neighbor wants them") and we agreed that our racing buddy Dave Rosenblum needed the Urban Express for his race car trailer ("perfect scooter for Dave"). I knew I could flip the two red Gyros for decent coin (assuming we decided not to keep them; but then why did we do this?) Ed had thoughts of taking the disassembled Gyro and converting it into a rat rod of some kind. The Honda Helix is an odd bird but online values seemed strong, so that could be a sale.

That left us with The Automotos. I had zero idea what we'd do with those, as Googling it didn't produce many useful returns and it led such a short life that pretty much no one knows about them.

Once we (finally!) arrived at Ed's house that night we'd decided that I'd take the Automotos home to resell (yay), along with the red '84 Gyro and the Honda Helix. Ed would take the Trail 70s for his neighbor, the Urban Express for Dave, and keep the red '86 Gyro to think about keeping.

Over the next week I got a few things sorted. I offered the red '84 Gyro to a local guy I knew from a Honda scooters Facebook page (he had bought parts from me) and it sold to him quickly (he'd been looking for a re '84 to add to his own collection.) I drove the Honda Helix around the neighborhood and kinda really liked how it drove; it was a good accelerating machine and handled nicely. The smaller wheels/tires affected handling on bumps, so I decided that it was better as a bigger urban scooter than a smaller highway cruiser (though it apparently can go 70-75 and keep up with traffic with ease...but not with me behind the bars).

That left us with The Automotos...still. Remember, I had zero idea what we'd do with those. I had this thought about maybe keeping one but I got one running and drove it around the neighborhood and I did not like how it handled. At all. Hard to describe but it felt like the worse characteristics of the Honda Gyro with too much potential speed. And unlike the solid feel of the Helix, The Automoto just felt...plastic-y.  Rattly. Unsafe. A great concept but needed some work.

I decided right then and there that they both had to go. On a lark, I put an ad on Facebook Marketplace for the pair and went back to the garage to get the second one running...and within 30 minutes or so I had a response from a guy in Concord NH, three hours away. He was a big fan of The Automoto and had been looking to grab another one (he already had one) and we started up a conversation and did a Facetime on the two I had. We came to an agreement on the price - I thought the offer was low but how many other The Automoto fans could there actually be out there?) - and we brainstormed how to get them to him. And right then I realized I had a race at the Thompson Speedway that very next weekend that I was going to stop into (I wasn't racing) and that Concord NH was only a couple more hours away, so how about if you cover the fuel and I trailer them to you? Deal done.

And remember the "trike kit" that came with the Honda Helix? I didn't have any interest in it, and it seemed like it would require modifying the Helix bodywork to make it fit (I guess it was never installed). So I put it up for sale on a Honda Helix Facebook page and a guy in Ohio wanted it. Kinda far away, right? Well, coincidentally, Ed and I were going to a race in Pittsburgh the weekend following the Thompson/Concord weekend, and the guy agreed to cover the marginal fuel costs of my taking the Excursion instead of my GTI...and the deal was done at PittRace track.

Side note, on my trip home from PittRace in the Excursion, I ran out of fuel near Dubois PA while trying to stretch the range. But, the fuel gauge was still showing 1/8 tank...turns out there's a problem with the fuel tank pickup tubes falling off on Ford trucks; apparently mine had done that sometime in the recent past since I usually tow with it I never pushed the fuel level that low...if it has not been for this whole FL/PA scooters scenario I'd have possibly found this all out in a significantly more-critical time...(I got it fixed).

So within just one week of going to Florida:

• The two Trail 70s were sold to Ed's neighbor
• The Urban Express was sold to Dave Rosenblum
• The red 1984 Gyro got sold to a guy from the Facebook Honda scooter list
• The two The Automoto got sold to the guy in Concord
• Helix "trike kit" sold to a guy in Ohio (and was delivered a week later)
• The disassembled 1985 Gyro is still sitting in Ed's garage, begging to be turned into a rat rod
• Ed decided to keep the red 1986 Gyro. It has become one of our regular pit bikes, along with my original black 1985. Probably should sell my blue 1984...

I decided to keep the Honda Helix. It's a wickedly cool scooter that gets looks and comments wherever it goes. In fact, I took it as my pitbike for the 2021 Lime Rock Historics races on Labor Day weekend, and the Helix got more looks and comments than my historics 914 race car did!

Once it was all said and done, Ed and I got our cash back, we covered the diesel costs and tolls for the trip, and we each got to keep a new toy.

Even better, we beat back the COVID blues while making new friends and enjoying some wonderful company. Time and money well spent.

Anyone want to buy a blue 1984 Gyro...?

GA

A sad postscript: one of the most wonderful persons I met on this trip was Lori Williams, Coby's wife.  Always a cheerful word and always smiling. Unfortunately, Lori passed away in late 2021, succumbing to illness. She will be missed by all.