Beer Quotes
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer. - Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. - His reply
Sir, you're drunk! - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. - David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. - Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. - David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Welhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer. - Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer. - Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. - His reply
Sir, you're drunk! - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. - David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. - Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. - David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Welhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer. - Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
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