Greg's Horrible Waste of Internet Bandwidth

Author's name withheld, to protect the (mostly) innocent.. Rule #1: Never fly with "Bob". I have an R-22 time slot on Saturdays, 4:30 to 6:30. This past Saturday Bob & I decide we want to fly down to the Miami downtown heliport. I'd fly down, Bob would fly back. Simple enough. The flight down was most enjoyable and precisely flown. The downtown heliport is a real neat trip, as you come in at 500ft or less, right over the cruise ships and south beach. We shut down and grabbed a quick soda. It's now getting pretty dark, the sun having just set over the skyline. "Bob" - not his real name - does a quick pre-flight then fires up. We do a max performance takeoff departing down Government Cut, right next to the cruise ships, hit the coastline and turn north. As we approach Ft. Lauderdale's airspace I tune in FLL tower getting ready to request transition. Just as I come on freq, I hear, "Ft Lauderdale tower, this is Coast Guard three four six zer...

Remember the "Dat pipe's not foh watuh, dat's pipe's foh GAS!!!"? Well, it seems to never end... I'm at home this week, not working. I was in Salt Lake City on business last week, and Thea calls to tell me the pipes are overflowing downstairs. Seems that while the toilet and bathroom sink are working fine (and the bath tub still drains slow), the driveway side of the house is plugged up. Running the dishwasher, kitchen sink, or washing machine results in a pretty geyser gushing up from the washing machine drain. Sigh. So, Saturday night we tried dropping in a gallon and a half of drain cleaner (after Thea did a gallon on Friday) and by Sunday morning I can see that it's not working. So, I volunteer to stay home and call Roto Rooter, and see if I can make our troubles go away down the drain... "Elmo" drives up mid-morning on Monday. He's a tall black guy, "from the Islands, mon", and seems a nice guy. I give him a walk arou...